If you don't use it...

(just a note about losing it)

It’s that time of year again: Well Woman Exam Time!

Perhaps you thought I’d be celebrating something else, but why would I when I can focus on my reproductive parts and get naked in a sterile exam room while trying to make casual conversation with someone I see once a year? Cheers!

My favorite part of the exam is the scooting. I’m never quite sure if I’ve scooted enough but, because I need external validation at all times, I try my best to get to the right spot. I always think that finally I’ve found that happy medium between “still on the table” and “ass hanging off” but nope! Never. Not once in over 30 years of Lady Business Exams have I scooted the right amount on my own. Hoping next year will be my year.

Gyno visits are different now that I’m in my late 40s. No more talk about trying to conceive or periods returning or birth control; now it’s all about perimenopause and breasts and why is my body falling apart.

So it’s Old People Talk basically. My and doctor and I talk about being old for 15 minutes. And then I don’t see her for 12 months. Cheers again!

The overriding theme this visit was “if you don’t use it, you lose it.” We don’t always have a cliche theme but it’s nice when it works out that way. Probably we were talking about exercise but it could have been math. Or a second language. Or external battery packs. All things I have trouble resurrecting after not using them for a while.

I don’t know what my point is here, but I do know that after that visit I had an urge to use everything. Appliances. Algebra. Abdominal muscles. Because what if I don’t use them and then I lose them? Forever?

Anyhoo that’s why today I’m planking while I write algebraic formulas on my Instant Pot: doctors orders.

Cheers!